WTF?

What is it exactly that determines mood?  I w0ke up like always, and within hours felt like utter shit.  Today is not really different than yesterday, and yet today, as my Mom used to say, " my ass is draggin' my sign out."  I always assumed that meant she was having a bad day.  So today, it's being alone.  I was alone yesterday and it was ok, even a good thing, today not so much.  Is it human nature to want to be special to at least one other person?  To want to hold another person close to you and dare the world to try any shit?  I guess that's part of it, I sure as hell fight it on a regular basis but maybe you can't fight it.  Maybe fighting it gives me something to do while I'm avoiding it altogether.  The chinks in the armor have let it seep in.  So today I move forward and hope like mad that tomorrow is better.  I'm not hopeful that I won't be alone tomorrow cuz tomorrow might be the day I'd prefer to be alone, who knows, right?

peace